What’s your labour story?

In honour of Mother’s Day (North America) I wanted to ask all the ladies in my network, “what is your labour story??”

For many of us it’s time spent in our very own personal torture chamber filled with horrors and crazy stories, but one thing comes out… life. There are no words for how beautiful and epic that moment is…

Anyway… here’s my labour story

(Backstory- some of you may remember I have PCOS, a condition so severe in my case, I was told I’d never have children. Even after conceiving, I was scared by health care professionals, told I would miscarry, so on… but I made it all the way to 39 weeks 5 days before…)

September 14, 2016: approx 9pm

I began having, what I can describe as “lightning stabbing” pains in my crotch (which I would later learn was lightening of the cervix) I texted my mum and she said,

They went away shortly after messaging my mum, so I went to bed. I woke up the next morning at 2am ish desperate to pee. I went. But as I came back it felt like I was dribbling pee down my leg so I ran back to the toilet and pushed and more came out (I thought “wow that’s a lot of pee”) went to lie back down in bed, the second I lied down it felt like I peed again, except this time with no effort at all.

My waters had broken, I knew it. My boyfriend was already on edge so he shot out of bed and got to grabbing things and we raced out the door. On the way there the fluid just kept coming out, it was so uncomfortable, like you’re peeing yourself a little every 30seconds, but it’s not pee, it’s the fluid your child has lived in…

I got to the hospital and the nurses joked about how it’s a full moon and it’s gonna get busy in there. They waited for the doctor to assess me before proceeding with the induction. (I was group b strep positive so upon waters breaking I needed antibiotics and induction to “slow” labour to ensure I had enough antibiotics in my system. When the doctor arrived she pressed her speculum to my cervix and a massive gush of water went everywhere. She said “yup! That’s amniotic fluid, you’re not going anywhere little lady you’re having a baby today!”

And then it sunk in, I mean really sunk in, I was going into labour, and it was gonna hurt. I got sort of panicked, but was a bit relieved when they said “we can’t induce you til shift change so why not go grab something to eat.” So down we went in the elevator, my man, my mum, and me. Suddenly the alarms started going off in the elevator, and my anxiety took off like a freight train “Oh god I’m gonna give birth in an elevator! Oh god my bfs probably gonna see me crap myself! Oh god no!”

Turns out my mum was leaning against the alarm button… False alarm…. thanks Mum

Made it to the cafeteria in one piece, the hospital food tasted like crap but it was nice to have a minute to contemplate my fate before taking the plunge in the birthing room. Once I had my breakfast they had me pack up our stuff and head over to the labour room. It was a decent size with a big window, and a Winnie the Pooh decal on the wall that said,

“Sometimes the smallest things take up the biggest room in your heart.”

They began my induction and at first I barely felt the contractions, this was approximately 7:30am sept 15. They were at first similar to a period cramp, but not quite. As the drip progressed I still hadn’t dilated. An OBGYN who saw me at 3months said because I had a LEEP procedure on my cervix I would need to be manually dilated. No one listened to me though. What did I know? I was a new mom in labour. When the drip hit 11ml I started asking for help. The pain was awful, like my insides were tearing out. They gave me the gas which only made me vomit more and more. I barfed the entire labour FYI. Within a few hours I was maxed out on the drip, By that time it was at 20ml and I was begging for an epidural. They gave me a choice: “fentanyl, a hot shower (there’s no way I could stand with that pain) or epidural, I chose door 3, epidural, please.

But it didn’t quite work.

My right side went completely dead I could flex my toes but not feel them and they felt like they weighed 30lbs. My left side felt like I was rupturing cysts over and over again. It was agony. I had become so sick from the meds that I began to wretch so hard it was incredibly painful. They started me on gravol. Then topped up the epidural. Things started to level out but by that point I had been maxed out on the drop for a few hours. The pain started to radiate through the epidural so they topped that up again and had to give me something else for nausea cause I was throwing up every 5 mins.

finally, after being maxed out for 6 hours the new OBGYN on shift said “she’s had a LEEP procedure and needs to be manually dilated” and I watched as she wrenched my vagina open with her hands, like she was birthing a baby cow. Thank fuck the epidural had kicked in by then cause I certainly wouldn’t want to feel that.

By 7pm (45mins after she dilated me) I was 9cm dilated. Did i mention it was a teaching hospital? When the time came to push, i must’ve had 15 ppl all watching my vagina… great.

i remember the doctor yelling “look at all that hair!”) they told my mum to count for the time I had to hold my breath and push, and I remember she got so excited she forgot to count and mid push I yelled

“MUM!!! COUNT!!”

“Oh shit sorry caz 1…2…3…”

it took 40mins if pushing and our little girl was out. I remember it felt like an eternity until she cried. I heard the doctor say “come on baby, come on now, breathe, breathe.” I was terrified I wouldn’t hear her cry… but she did. They placed her on my chest and immediately she silenced, and snuggled up to me. I cried my eyes out. It was the most beautiful, the most life changing moment. I’ll never forget it.

I suffered third degree tears, separated pelvis, it was rough (and don’t get me started on trying to go to the bathroom after!) went through 6 months of colic after that, not sleeping for more than 3hrs a night, To teething, to growth spurts, you name it. But she’s almost 2 and we’ve made it this far, I’m so excited to see where we go from here.

So mamas, I’m askin ya to up your stories, what happened to you in that chamber of birth? Did you suffer? Did you triumph? What went down? Fill me in! Today is YOUR DAY! You earned it! Happy Mother’s Day ladies!!!

Posted in calgary, mother | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Mommy’s tired 

Every mom I know, is tired. Soooo fucking tired. I haven’t had a night off in 406 days and counting.  I’m sorry to all the people who don’t have kids that get offended when we glare at them when they whine about being tired… cause it’s not the same, no matter how you put it. Most single, childless people, are tired because of THEIR OWN CHOICE. Be it work, love life, social life, hobbies, (unless they suffer from mental illness but even then they have chances to get at least some rest) I remember those days, and sure I was tired, or at least I thought I was…

Moms… full time moms… we’re on the brink of insanity. If not already over the edge. We run on minimal sleep, I’m talking like sleep deprivation at Guantanamo Bay, (have you ever had a colicky baby?) been held from sleep against your will? That’s what having children is like. Moms plan EVERYTHING for the household : meals, chores, stock inventory, taxi kids to school and back, taxi them to extracurricular activities and back, keep the animals alive, keep the kids from hurting themselves (which for me seems to be a daily chore) and no I don’t mean they’re suicidal at all, I mean they’re kids, 14 months and 7yrs old, they don’t think of consequences they just act, especially the toddler, who daily tries to dive head first off the couch. And every time I catch her and I feel my heart rate soar through the roof. 

Somewhere, in among the mess you’re supposed to look after yourself. When really my idea of looking after myself is sitting by myself outside in abject silence for an hour and then coming inside, stuffing my face with peanut butter on toast and watching Greys Anatomy while drinking a cup of tea, by myself. (Sometimes when I have the energy I make it to the gym before doing the above, but if I’m exhausted, well hell thats my night.)

(Notice how many times i said “by myself” lol)

What should I be doing? Moisturizing, saving for school, planning things for our future, probably some yoga and meditation, but I just don’t have it in me to give that much back to myself or the world yet. I wish I did. I’ll get into why that’s an issue for me in my next post.

Anyway, my point is, when u think a stay at home mom does nothing all day, you’re wrong. And we’re tired. We don’t have a boss we can call and say we don’t feel well we’re not coming in. We can’t really have someone cover for us (it’ll work for a few hours but then they always want mommy back). We’re on call 24/7,we don’t sleep in, we don’t get holidays, and we don’t get any job incentives except the beauty of watching our children grow, which granted is an inexplicable experience that I am so honoured for! But sometimes I wish this job had Christmas parties, co workers, bonuses, I know at the end of the day my sacrifice is what is best for my children, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I can’t wait until the baby is old enough for school and mommy can start to have herself back again.

And ya I’m an asshole for saying that 

And I’m a mom for saying that ^^^

(Why do we feel guilty the second we think about what we want!? Lol. #momproblems) 

Edit: from my Facebook post comment: “And to the moms who do go to work full time, u ladies r soldiers, especially the ones with the little ones. In my next post I’ll explain why I’m not quite ready to join back to the work force, but u ladies are amazing, and deserve an extra large latte delivered to ur office daily, with flowers”

Well done ladies, well done 

Posted in calgary, mom | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mommy’s fabulous morning off 

When you’re a full time mom, there isn’t much time you get to yourself. You go days without washing your hair, forget to moisturize, forget to eat, needless to say you start to put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own. So when my stylist messaged me saying he had an opening at The Cutting Room Floor I was all for it. I made sure my man could watch the kids and I raced out the door to downtown to get my hair done. I met Jason at his new salon and I loved it there! It’s a quaint location in Kensington close to Chicken on the way and next door to Bombay Beauty Loft. 

-Let me tell you a bit about Jason. He recently returned from Shanghai, China, where he was invited to be a featured stylist at the International Hair Fair. He competed in the extension contest and came 16th out of 160 participants. He was named an “upcoming force in the hair industry.”

Considering I only have limited time away from the baby we got right to styling my hair. My roots had grown out quite a bit, but all in all there wasn’t much damage considering my hair is in a mom bun 24/7 now lol. 

He used these products to wash and style my hair 

I can’t rave on enough about how amazing my hair felt after these treatments. The Kevin Murphy shampoo and conditioner make my hair feel soft and sooooo lightweight! (My hair is heavy as hell so that’s a HUGE bonus to me) it shined and was super easy to style. Everyone has been complimenting my colour, it’s absolutely flawless.

Make your appointment at the Cutting Room Floor with Jason Mellor and get great hair today! You deserve it!!!!! 

Posted in calgary | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saying goodbye to my best friend

Posted in alberta, angel, animals, calgary, cancer, cat, cats, death, faith, family, god, goodbye | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

5 Ways to get rid of a cold/flu

Freddy facts of the week:

So you either didn’t see the post last week, or you just happened to fall victim to the current cold/flu buzzing around your home/school/workplace.Either way, here’s what you can do to get rid of it more efficiently so you can be back to your normal self in no time.

  1.  Rest: I can’t stress enough to get as much sleep as possible. If you’re off work, sleep longer and nap when possible. If you have to continue working, minimize other activities to ensure you receive the proper sleep you need to fight off this bacteria/virus.
  2.  Drink up: All that coughing and sneezing, (and if its the flu,any fluid emission from either end) makes you very dehydrated, make sure you ingest enough water to keep your system afloat
  3. Install a humidifier: Viruses and Bacteria thrive in dry, arid environments, by utilizing a cool air humidifier you can combat the virus in the air. You definitely want it running when you go to bed.  These handy little fellas can be purchased at any major supply store (walmart, superstore, ikea)
  4. Take vitamin C: right now vitamin c is the best friend your immune system can have. Try and get your daily intake either by consuming fruits and vegetables or by taking a supplement.
  5. Take hot showers: the steam from your shower will help break up the phlegm in your chest and nose. Try to breathe as deeply as possible to help clear those airways.

Hopefully this helps you beat that nasty cold/flu, it works for me!

Good luck my darlings! Get better soon!


Photo by Randy Porter

To check out Freddy’s latest lines of amazing fashion click here for Canada, and here for USA



Posted in calgary, fashion | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

5 Ways to prevent catching colds/flu

Freddy facts of the week: 

It happens every year, and it’s not always in winter. No I’m not talking about snow (although sometimes in Canada that’s true!) I’m talking about colds and the flu. Chances are we’ve all come in contact with a customer, coworker, loved one who shows symptoms of something amiss. Here’s what to do when you see this happen around you:

1. Disinfect all surfaces and materials 

Cold and flu viruses can live on hard surfaces up to 16hrs and fabric up to 12hrs. It is important to wash clothing, bed linens, and sanitize surfaces with a sterilizing product such as: lysol, windex, bleach, vinegar. 

2. Don’t touch your face

If someone coughs on you, don’t fret, unless they coughed or sneezed directly into your eyes, nose or mouth, there’s little to no risk of contagion. However, if your hands touch mucus anywhere and then you scratch your eye, itch your nose, or wipe your lips, the virus or bacteria can travel in the mucus membrane, thus rendering you potentially ill especially if you don’t already have the antibodies for this particular pathogen. 

3. Avoid close contact with infected persons

Often times viruses will spread through households due to one person being sick and the rest catching it. If the person is your partner, avoid close contact. If it’s your child contact is probably necessary, just make sure you sanitize everything they touch and try to keep your face out of the sneezes and coughs if you can. 

4. Get your vitamins 

Lacking nutrition can lower your immune system making it much harder to fight the bacterial war that can be waged against us. If you don’t eat a balanced diet then at least consume a multivitamin daily. 

5. Remain hydrated

There’s never an end to the benefits of water. In this case, your immune system is essentially in your blood. White blood cells are responsible for identifying, then tackling viruses and bacteria, and afterward cataloging their appearance along with an arsenal of antibodies  to ensure we don’t get sick from that one again. Blood needs water to transport itself efficiently throughout the system and ensure our immune response isn’t delayed. So drink up!

Here’s hoping you can all avoid that dreadful cold onset. 

Photo by Andras Schram

Hair and makeup by Tara Smith

Pants by Freddy Canada (available also at Freddy USA)

Shirt by Apt 22

Posted in calgary | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

4 Stampede Fashion Must Have’s

Freddy facts of the week

The greatest outdoor show is coming to Calgary for its annual debut on Friday, THE CALGARY STAMPEDE!!! And as much as it is a celebration of western riding and culture, it’s also a chance to strut your cowboy fashion sense up and down the midway. I’ve comprised a list of 4 essentials in order to pull off the stampede runway with style. 

1. Cowboy hat/ Cute hairstyle

If you look good in a hat, go for it! I always like the sparkly ones. If not I suggest something with braids and some curls. Or you can go for the pigtails or pigtail braids, very on point.

2. Plaid Shirt

Nothing says rodeo living like a plaid shirt. You can also step this up a notch and find some western shirts at your local western store. 

3. Blingy Belt and Jewelry

Think BIG when it comes to belt buckles, and the more sparkle it has the better. As for jewelry you can play it up or play it small, if it sparkles it’ll look great either way. 

4. The Best Denim

Jeans are a staple of the western world, but those bulky wranglers don’t do much when it comes to shaping a girl or accenting your butt. Freddy has hands down the hottest denim for all your stampede needs. Rather than buying some cheap pair of pants just for stampede, get yourself a set that will last you forever. 


Bralette by Jenny Frank

Jeans by Freddy Freddy USA

Photos by Walt Klimasch and Pablo Ley

Hair and makeup by Tara Smith

Posted in calgary | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment