They say a mans best friend is a dog.
In 2013, women are alienated not only by our fellow female society but by our own sick perceptions. We judge ourselves worse than a ballet dancer, and it seems our boyfriends and girlfriends can’t build us up enough to get past our initial self hate. So who can??
A gay man, that’s who can.
Not only can you talk to your gay friend about your feelings, but he can counsel you through your sex life, fashion, and overall confidence level. I mean wow, you’d have to be confident to be gay! Have you ever taken it in the ass? That takes a soldier! (also, its 2013, don’t get all uptight and insulted by me discussing anal sex, it happens more often than you think, and you’d be surprised who’s husband like an occasional “tossed salad” or a dip in the chocolate starfish.)
You can discuss your sex life in depth without fear of exposing your vulnerability or being used as a muse for public gossip. What happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors. You can be completely assured what you say to him will stay with him.
And if he steals your boyfriend? well you’re probably better off!
Have a date and don’t know what to wear? He’ll help. Put on something that makes you look hideous, and unlike your female friends who will sit back and smile as you make a mockery of yourself, he will simply say “Oh, honey NO, thiiiiissss (making the circle motion meaning everything you’re wearing) isn’t going to work” and instantly like your Fairy Godmother (no pun intended) he puts you together like cinderella for a ball!
And lastly, if you think you have a hard time with guys… you’re preaching to the choir for the gays. Not only do they have their own relationships to worry about, but then there’s also this stigma that being gay “isn’t right” and they’re still shunned. The part I find funny is when people say “Gay girls are ok, but gay guys do damage”
Ok… you don’t think lesbians have straps ons? Or for that matter, that perfectly heterosexual couples also partake in anal sex, does that make now make them “not right?”
I’ll tell you what’s not right. It’s not right that from a young age we are taught to fear what is different. If you spent your whole life rockin’ 725 Originals (Wal MART brand) I can imagine it would be overwhelming stepping into, say, a Louis Vuitton store. But once past the initial overwhelming feeling, this amazing, liberated feeling comes. You are now more aware of the world of fashion/sexuality/societal misjudgements, and even better, you are beginning to formulate an opinion for yourself. This is key to utilizing your soul. And this is why I love my new Gay best friend. Not only does he strike me as more enlightened than the dahli lama himself, but he’s funny as hell and absolutely lights my life. I think if there’s anything we should be teaching our girls it’s not “findyourself a good man,” but rather, “find yourself a good gay friend who can love and support you until you find a great man!”