Alone in the Crowd

Am I the only person that feels even more lonely when surrounded by people? Some people are energized by interaction with others, I find I’m drained by it. I feel great sympathy for the stars who want their privacy, I understand it’s cool to share sometimes, but sometimes we want to be home alone, blasting music in our house and singing off key (even if you can sing well, just to be a dork) dancing around in your underwear while eating ice cream. I’m such a loner. No matter how many events I attend, friends I have, the older I get the more I am exhausted by the public dynamic. That sometimes I truly don’t want to pick up the phone, touch my computer, hell sometimes not even turn the TV on, just be alone with my thoughts, and the occasional kitty brushing up against my leg… You can never get enough kitties…

Wait… Am I the crazy cat lady in training?

Or am I just different? Am I that antisocial? Or rather is it that I can’t trust anyone? So automatically I fear being in their presence. Either way… I’m tired. This model needs a vacation BIG TIME ik20130511_182143

This entry was posted in beauty, control, depression, fashion, girlproblems, identity, insecurity, mentalhealth, model, outcast, overwhelmed, truth and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Alone in the Crowd

  1. Skye says:

    Wow, took me a long bloody time to figure out how to comment! Lol. Anyways, I totally feel you! I am the exact same way… Is it bad when your friends make plans, you don’t really want to go, then they have to cancel and you’re really happy about it? Like sometimes I am just relieved that I don’t have to go out. I’m not sure, even when my old college would form a circle for Life Studies, I would pull my chair away from the circle, where nobody really saw me, I could only see them. Trust issues, maybe. Depression? I don’t really think so. Maybe a bit… Anxiety, most likely.

    — Skye 🙂

    Like

    • Yes definitely anxiety. Wow I didn’t know you were in the same boat! Well I guess we’re not alone together 🙂

      And if it makes u feel any better when people cancel plans with me I could do a happy dance! Lol
      Much love xo

      Like

  2. mentalnotes1 says:

    OMG I FEEL THIS, I’D RATHER BE HOME PICKING MY TOES, “SO TO SPEAK” THAN OUT WITH the public dynamics. IT REALLY IS EXHAUSTING! I ALWAYS END UP WITH A HEADACHE FOR THE STRAIN OF TRYING TO LIVE UP TO EVERYONES EXPECTATIONS. MY ANXIETY IS SOMTHING I HAVE GROWN TO EXCEPT AND EMBRACE. I STOPPED APOLOGIZING FOR BEING ME. SO I’M A LOT ANTISOCIAL.

    Like

  3. richardhaas8 says:

    When I want to be alone I head for downtown………or any “social situation”.
    I do love people but only from an “outside looking in” perspective.
    Can I function in the world in social situations? Yes, very well.
    But I am not always welcome since I am not fond of “game playing” and tend to say what I mean rather than what I “should” say.
    Anyway……love your words and your beauty.
    Thannks for sharing

    Like

  4. jables1234 says:

    When I read this it reminded me that I hate people, which is totally normal. There could be no other reason I act the way I do around people, its just something realized over time. I can only enjoy people on my terms. Perhaps many of us have this in common.

    Like

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