Sometimes I feel my heart pounding through my chest, like I’m a deer being chased through the forest. There’s no reason for it. And yet. Here I am. Contemplating every action I’ve made that led me to this weak person I allow myself to be.
You start thinking about the bills that haven’t been paid, the bills coming up, the person society wants you to be and the person you think you are, and lastly, the person you really are. Does anyone know who they really are? Are we all deluding ourselves? Pretending?
Sometimes I feel so damn powerless. I just want to get off this crazy train, sit on the mountainside and have a coffee on a blanket, and just watch the view. Just watch, with no deadlines, no sense of urgency or fear. Just watch the beauty.
Why I am still sitting up after 2 sleeping pills bouncing my leg wide awake?
No wonder Marilyn died of an overdose. Sometimes you forget how much your body can handle in comparison to what your mind can handle.
As much as people want to watch those that are beautiful, sometimes beauty needs a break too.