To My 14yr Old Self

I would’ve written this to you at 13, but you were still happy with yourself then, even though you had a horrible haircut and buck teeth, you were still your own person.

At 14 I lost you, and I’m writing you this to keep you close, so you don’t lose sight of the task at hand.

1. YOU ARE NOT UGLY!
– what other girls/guys say, what their horrible hate mails say, it’s not true, in fact, they’re the ugly ones as they can’t accept even the smallest fraction of beauty, so they shun it. And your bad hair cut! Hair grows! U just wait and see

2. YOU ARE NOT FAT
– so you’re 14 and have boobs! 100yrs ago you’d be married and having kids soon! It’s natural! Don’t tape them back and tell your best friend to stop stuffing her bra! (She ends up with the nicest ass in the world! But don’t tell her that yet! It’s a surprise!)

3. YOU ARE NOT CAROLYNNE “NO CHIN”
Granted, your face looks round now, but this is THE ROUNDEST AND SOFTEST IT WILL EVER BE! As you age it will thin out (just like your mum says (but shhh don’t tell her shes right either or you’ll never hear the end of it!) you obviously have a chin or your wouldn’t be able to talk 🙂

4. YOU ARE NOT A SLUT
you don’t dress like one, act like one, and you’re still a virgin. Enjoy your purity, men ruin us faaaarrr too early, you don’t want to be jaded and untrusting when you’re older, so skip the date and have a pajama party with your friends. And if you don’t have many friends, watch a movie with you dog, cat, or grandma, grandpa, you’d be surprised how much small moments like that will mean in years to come, when perhaps grandma and grandad aren’t around to enjoy in morning rounds of “the Price is Right”

5. DONT GIVE UP ON SPORTS
you’re an amazing athlete, people will hurt you and try to take you down, and it’s because THEY FEAR YOUR POTENTIAL! They can see your greatness far before you can. Embrace it. Don’t shy away or think you’re not good enough, you’re better than that, you’re “the creme de la creme” (as your yr 5 teacher said (grade 5 in England)

6. DONT UNDERESTIMATE YOUR TALENTS
You can sing, act, dance, write, and are an amazing student. Don’t let what some insignificant teen says to you define what you’re good at. If it speaks to your soul, listen to it and respond.

7.PLEASE DONT DO DRUGS
I know you feel lost, and confused, and hurt, and just want a way to stand out, but this isn’t it my dear. In fact, you almost die from them. Please, please, value your body, your mind, your health.

8. THE IN CROWD ARE “INSANE”

– no one from the in crowd ever become anything. They constantly reminisce about high school, a time where you and I both hate, they have tons of kids, husbands have left them, and they are mostly overweight themselves now.

9. STOP DOING WHAT YOU THINK EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO DO
So people think you’d made a great lawyer, doctor. Nurse. There are millions of jobs with tons of things to do, go your own way, not the way you think you SHOULD go, the way you heart WANTS to go.

10. DO NOT TAKE THOSE PILLS!!!!
You don’t know yet, but you try to kill yourself with a bottle of T3’s, you have to stop in time to realize what’s ahead….

And what is ahead…..

You become a model. You will work events for Disney, Ferrerro Rocher, Toyota, LOU LOU magazine, and shoots with tons of photographers.
You get your makeup and hair done by other wonderfully creative people who were also nerds back in the day. You have two wonderful cats 😉 and You don’t hear a thing from any of those horrible people. You also just wrote your first short story!

So fact is baby girl, high school is only 3yrs, but the rest of your life holds so much promise, if you can make it through high school, you can make it through anything, just don’t lose what makes you YOU in the first place. True beauty comes from gods hands and is placed into our mothers womb, and when we breathe our first breath we are filled with light, beauty, individuality, that no clothing brand or insult could possibly affect. When you presented an innocent child, free from social opinions, there is nothing more beautiful, and more unique. And once, that baby was you…
DONT FORGET WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE,
DONT BE AFRAID TO STAND ALONE FROM THE CROWD, you’d be surprised how many are willing to follow your lead.

But DO
Find ways to dance in the rain when the storm comes down
Get a good best friend so you know you always have someone (even if they’re on the Internet 😉
Tell yourself you’re beautiful, you really are
And do everything you dream of, the only thing holding you back, literally, is you,

I love you, I hope you can remember to love me too.

SIGNED: Your 28yr old self

  

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4 Responses to To My 14yr Old Self

  1. A moving piece and maybe something a lot more adults should do for themselves. I really wish all 14 year old girls could read this. Thanks

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  2. Rick Blimkie says:

    Wonderful blog………….so glad (for you) that you were able to overcome the lack of self esteem etc. associated with your pre-20’s state. Only those of us who have lived many “dark nights of the soul” can really appreciate the pain and the constant effort required to “pull out” of such mind sets. The suffering (in many cases) is such an isolating experience. The silver lining to mental illness however (to me) is realising that a person with a mental illness is just that ! (a person with a mental illness). They are not THE MENTAL ILLNESS. They are unique souls who (in some ways), have been gifted with a sensitivity that many well-adjusted folk don’t even know, is possible. Dark and light are “the stuff of the arts” and we are in some ways fortunate to be capable of experiencing both. All said and done (even with the most advanced therapeutic efforts) the change to being more attuned “to the light vs the dark” must come from the individual……..”IF IT IS TO BE, IT MUST START WITH ME”….never ever forget that!. No-one can wave a magic wand and heal you….it comes from supreme self effort , only. We all want to be accepted as we are , and I commend you and those like you (specific accolades to the “BELL LET;S TALK INITIATIVE) for removing the fascade surrounding mental illness…………..Go forth girl!…..You’ve done so very well integrating this stuff to your successful and happy life as it is now

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    • This is by far the most insightful comment I have ever received. And so sweet. Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words. I’ll be sure to keep trying to spread the word. Thank you again. All the best with your journey through “the forces” and well said, we are more enlightened, even if we had to break to see it.

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