Model Down

Sometimes the meds aren’t enough. I don’t know if I’m hormonal right now, or if it’s just a combination of recent events finally catching up with me, but I’ve been in and out of tears for the last 4 days. I’ve managed to get done what needs to be done (which is new for me, usually I crumble and everything around me comes down with it.) but this time I just run to the bathroom for 10mins, sob my heart out, and come back out. I don’t come back out “ok” but I function. Anyone who knows me well can tell I’m very distracted though. My thoughts are somewhere else, my heart is somewhere else.
The more I succeed the less time I have to focus on what hurts me so I suppose that’s good, but when things slow I find my mind trickling back to that dark place hidden within me. I become overwhelmed with sadness and confusion. I can’t remember half the things I was supposed to do 5 mins prior. Thanks god I have the next two days off… Cause this model needs a time out.
Commence mission: fetal position, chai tea, and ugly Betty re runs. I’ll get back to you all as soon as I’m more cheerful, no one likes a sad model 😪


This entry was posted in angry, anxiety, beauty, betrayal, blog, boyfriend, calgary, canada, cousin, crazy, depression, derranged, devastation, girl, girlproblems, goodbye, makeup, mentalhealth, model, modeling, PCOS, photography, psychotic, PTSD, society and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Model Down

  1. I hate giving advice to people as it’s seldom met with positive reaction but I’m going to make one anyways. Go to a health food store and ask for 5-HTP. Take 2 before bed or what ever the bottle recommends. It’ll boost your serotonin and make life feel much, much more manageable. It’s all natural, non-medical.

    And not to admit too much on the internet, but it keeps my tears away…

    Feel better, feel great, and I look forward to working with you someday.


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