Fear Of Falling

How many of you are terrified of things out of your control? One of my fellow model friends Bree asked, “what makes you feel vulnerable,” my response “falling in love.”
Truth is, inside I’m a hopeless romantic. Since leaving my ex all my beliefs were shattered and I truly thought the “cold, hard, bitch” route was the way to go.
Until he came into my life.
Funny thing is he’s been there for almost 3yrs I just never realized he was an option til a little while ago.
Now I’m both elated and terrified. He makes my heart soar, but I remember all too well the pain of falling, of crashing to the ground full speed and drowning in a river of tears.
Thankfully, every time doubt creeps around the corner he says or does something to assure me otherwise. I just pray this is the case for the long run.
As much as I support independence, I do believe we are meant to be in partners, I do not, however, believe in settling for whatever is available.
Some of you are wondering who the wonderful man is that I am currently dating, and I regret to say, I won’t tell you.
What I will tell you, I have been on dates with some of the most beautiful men in this city. I’ve dated singers, actors, celebrities, men who drive ferraris and men who would gladly pay for me to live my life sitting on my ass, making babies and going shopping… But I didn’t choose any of them. I chose the man who treats me like a queen, the man who challenges me to be a better me yet who adores me for who I truly am, and not just the model and the image I represent. The man who makes me howl laughing, who plays with my hair all the time and who loves every inch of my body, and who would give me the moon and the stars if he found a way to catch them. I would rather be in love and help someone create an empire than assume possession of one like some entitled little princess.
I’m not married, I’m not single, but I am taken, and happy. So right now I’m flying…
I’m just so scared someone or something will take this away from me… That I’ll fall again…

Photo credit: Randy Porter https://www.facebook.com/RandyPorterPhotography

This entry was posted in beauty, blog, boyfriend, brunette, calgary, celebrity, confidence, control, devastation, girlfriend, girlproblems, glamour, hope, love, model and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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