Over the years, I have endured heartache after heartache. In fact, I think I remember the exact moment my heart shattered. It was my 25th birthday in England, at my aunty mags house. The boy I had been seeing and I seemed to be hitting it off well. The whole family were dressed up to go to dinner… And my phone rang. He said ” you deserve better than me. I’m sorry, I just don’t think I could ever be enough for you.” And with that being said, my hand lowered the phone and hung up. My mum came up to make sure I was ready for dinner, saw the look on my face and asked, ” AWWW Caz, what’s up?” I told mum what had happened, and I broke down sobbing. The sadness quickly grew to anger, I threw the phone across the room and it shattered against the wall. I screamed as loud as I could. I kept yelling: “what’s wrong with me mum?! What is so wrong with me that these men do this all the time?” My mum started to cry, so did my aunt and my cousins. My mum held me and said, “I don’t know Carolynne, I hope one day it’s different. There’s nothing wrong with you though.”
But i insisted there must be, for why else would they pull me in and toss me back out to sea?
The years of tears that have encased my broken heart have grown cold, so cold that what is left is hard, frozen solid in a salted tear stricken cave. Although I do hope for true love one day, I do not long for it. The longing is painful and time consuming. I shall continue to work hard and hope my prince will come one day, and warm the cockles of my heart. Until then, be prepared, for “winter is coming”.
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