Pathetic Excuse For a Female

I am the product of being a lifelong Tomboy, and a spoiled rotten model. What I mean by that is that I have had the best hair and makeup artists at my side for over two years now (Tara Carter is practically my life force, Jason Mellor is my hair master). So, you ask, what do I do now when they’re not around!?

I PANIC!!!!!

First of all…. Makeup…. 

You must understand, I grew up in my big brothers shadow. My brother did not have makeup, he had GI joes, Lego, and tonka trucks. I NEVER played with makeup. 

When I attempted the makeup tutorial spreads in the magazines I would fail miserably and usually look like a two bid hooker. And then I met Tara, and learned about professional makeup. And though she’s managed to install a few tricks…. I am nonetheless lost in the darkness without her, and often find myself calling her saying “what do I do with this!? Is this what I need? Help me!!!!”

You have no idea how much I regret not practising with makeup as a child…

Then hair…

Have you ever seen how much hair I have? It’s not just long and thick, for some reason I have an abnormal amount of hair on my head (ask any of my stylists they’ll all agree). 

So many people say “oh but you could do so much with all that hair!?”

Really!? I bet you could! Cause God knows I can’t! I know how to hot roller and that is IT. People have tried to teach me, but my hair’s so damn heavy and awkward to do by myself I usually end up resorting to a ponytail. 

All this hair, and I wear it in a ponytail. 

Stylists around the world are tearing up as I say that….

Please, fashion gods, send me tiny hair and makeup fairies to help me in my daily needs, for I have been spoiled by professionals, and a lack of feminity for my first 20yrs of life. 


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One Response to Pathetic Excuse For a Female

  1. inferno335 says:

    Ok, I admit – when we met, you definitely had the tomboy look. However, that is not – I repeat, NOT! – a bad thing, and it definitely doesn’t make you a pathetic excuse for a female!
    (Girly-girl, yes – female, no; contrary to popular rumor there IS a difference between the two.)

    So what if you’ve got so much hair it can only be ponytail’d or left down? It’s not a bad thing at all – it’s part of your style, tomboy look and all – you just need to make it uniquely yours. How you do that is your call. 🙂
    So what if you suck with makeup on your own? That doesn’t make you less of a woman. Hell, every real woman I’ve ever met (read: not brainless, not slutty, and at least basically proud of her appearance) including other models has looked absolutely gorgeous with or without makeup – albeit bloody exhausted in one or two cases – and you are no different. 🙂

    You’re a model, yeah; you’re a gorgeous woman in your own right and an even more beautiful person. That doesn’t mean you stink as a female; it just means you’re unique. Channel that uniqueness – well, more than you already do! – and you’ll be just fine, makeup or not. 🙂


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