Category Archives: pain

FOREVER R.E.D

A dark cloud of sadness resides over the fashion community of Calgary today, as we say goodbye to one of our own. The incomparably talented Ruby Ellen Johnson, age 51, designer and owner of Ruby Ellen Designs passed away this … Continue reading

Posted in apology, art, author, beauty, blog, bullying, calgary, canada, casting, children, classy, death, devastation, Facebook, family, fashion, flowers, foreigner, girl, glamour, goodbye, honour, hope, improvise, individuality, innovation, inspiration, love, Magazine, makeup, model, pain, peace, petals, photography, universe, writer, Yyc, Yyc fashion week | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Broken

There comes a time at the end of every arduous battle, that one must say “enough is enough” and call it quits. I reached that point last night. Some of you may remember my boyfriend cheated on me, for the … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, beauty, betrayal, blog, boyfriend, calgary, canada, confidence, depression, derranged, devastation, girlfriend, girlproblems, glamour, goodbye, honour, hope, identity, individuality, insecurity, inspiration, love, mentalhealth, model, nervous, overwhelmed, pain, photography, PTSD, rant, responsibility, scars, writer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Depression

I stand in the shower, naked and numb. Not just from some unearthly cold, but also inside my soul. One by one my feelings of trust in humanity deplete. And I’m left shivering under the boiling waters embrace as it … Continue reading

Posted in addiction, anxiety, beauty, blog, calgary, canada, confidence, crazy, depression, derranged, disturbing, girlproblems, glamour, god, hope, identity, insecurity, inspiration, masochistic personality disorder, mentalhealth, model, modeling, nerd, nervous, nightmares, overwhelmed, pain, photography, psychotic, PTSD, scars, spirituality, truth, writer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Nightmares

Since acquiring PTSD almost 5years ago, I am plagued by nightmares every night. Even when I jolt out of bed from one, I fall back asleep, and and right back in the same scenario, same dream. It’s like even reality … Continue reading

Posted in angel, anxiety, beauty, blog, brunette, calgary, canada, control, dad, daddy, death, depression, derranged, devastation, devil, disaster, family, father, fight, god, goodbye, love, makeup, model, modeling, mother, nightmares, pain, photography, PTSD, scars, spirituality, truth, universe, writer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Racist Society

Since the politically correct movement started in the 90’s, people are so confused as to how to describe someone of another race. We are told to say “African American” when, as a prime example, half my friends are NOT from … Continue reading

Posted in beauty, blog, brunette, calgary, canada, childhood, children, commonsense, courtesy, derranged, fight, god, hate, hope, identity, individuality, inspiration, lies, love, model, opinion, pain, peace, photography, rant, responsibility, society, truth, writer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

To My Uncle, From Your Niece.

This is for a man, who started a boy. A young, wirey, whip of a lad born in England. I can see the picture now. He was 2… I think? My mum is almost 1 or maybe a newborn. Her … Continue reading

Posted in angel, angry, anxiety, author, child, childhood, children, dad, daddy, death, depression, devastation, disaster, faith, father, flowers, god, humor, identity, inspiration, love, model, opinion, pain, responsibility, society | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Anger Management

I get it, you’re pissed off at life. Most of us are. But when you stop focusing on what is ruining you and start to focus on what could possibly fix you, there is in fact an end to the … Continue reading

Posted in angry, beauty, brunette, bullying, calgary, childhood, control, depression, derranged, devastation, discipline, fashion, god, hope, mentalhealth, model, outcast, overwhelmed, pain, PCOS, photography, rant, responsibility, success, suicide, truth, universe | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments