Category Archives: psychotic

Impending Death

I have had a constant, lingering fear of death since I was around 14. Like I could feel it everywhere, it seemed to follow me wherever I went. The amount of close calls I have had is alarming. I’ve: -fallen … Continue reading

Posted in banshee, beauty, calgary, canada, Dark, death, depression, mentalhealth, psychotic, PTSD | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Mental Medication Mishaps

How many of you suffer from mental illness? How many of you take medication for it? And of those who take meds, how many of you forget to take them, or try to ween yourself off? And why? I’ve heard … Continue reading

Posted in addiction, angry, anxiety, beauty, blog, brunette, calgary, canada, crazy, depression, drugs, insecurity, mentalhealth, model, nightmares, overwhelmed, photography, psychotic, PTSD, Yyc | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Model Down

Sometimes the meds aren’t enough. I don’t know if I’m hormonal right now, or if it’s just a combination of recent events finally catching up with me, but I’ve been in and out of tears for the last 4 days. … Continue reading

Posted in angry, anxiety, beauty, betrayal, blog, boyfriend, calgary, canada, cousin, crazy, depression, derranged, devastation, girl, girlproblems, goodbye, makeup, mentalhealth, model, modeling, PCOS, photography, psychotic, PTSD, society | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Screen Soldiers

If you have a problem with me, I suggest you find your “CHESTICLES,” woman up, and tell me face to face, or in the very least send me a direct message. I haven’t had a photo reported on FB in … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, angry, beauty, betrayal, blog, brunette, bullying, calgary, canada, confidence, family, fans, girlproblems, hair, hate, hypocrite, identity, insecurity, jealousy, opinion, psychotic, rant, womens abuse, writer | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

To My 14yr Old Self

I would’ve written this to you at 13, but you were still happy with yourself then, even though you had a horrible haircut and buck teeth, you were still your own person. At 14 I lost you, and I’m writing … Continue reading

Posted in angry, anxiety, beauty, blog, brunette, bullying, calgary, canada, cat, childhood, commonsense, depression, disney, girl, girlfriend, girlproblems, glamour, god, hair, hate, hypocrite, identity, individuality, insecurity, jealousy, lies, likes, love, makeup, mentalhealth, opinion, overwhelmed, PCOS, psychotic, writer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Depression

I stand in the shower, naked and numb. Not just from some unearthly cold, but also inside my soul. One by one my feelings of trust in humanity deplete. And I’m left shivering under the boiling waters embrace as it … Continue reading

Posted in addiction, anxiety, beauty, blog, calgary, canada, confidence, crazy, depression, derranged, disturbing, girlproblems, glamour, god, hope, identity, insecurity, inspiration, masochistic personality disorder, mentalhealth, model, modeling, nerd, nervous, nightmares, overwhelmed, pain, photography, psychotic, PTSD, scars, spirituality, truth, writer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Nightmares

At almost 30yrs old I still am plagued by nightmares. I know what you think, it’s just a dream. But you don’t see what I see. Sometimes I’m terrified to sleep, sometimes I just beg to sleep ’cause I’m so … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, calgary, canada, control, crazy, depression, derranged, devastation, disturbing, girlproblems, psychotic, PTSD | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments