Category Archives: scars

Calgary Crime

Once again I am victim to Calgary’s growing crime rate. This time much more impactful than the last. I awoke this morning to my neighbour calling through my window, “hello! Are you home!? Someone smashed in your window last night … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, angry, beauty, betrayal, blog, brunette, calgary, canada, glamour, insecurity, makeup, mentalhealth, model, scars, society, truth, universe, Yyc | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

It’s not you, it’s me.

There was a time in my life where I fought for men’s attention. That time was my entire life up until the Rottweiler attack. After that I learned all too well how to hide from people, until this blog… And … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, author, beauty, betrayal, blog, boyfriend, brunette, calgary, canada, cat, confidence, depression, fans, fashion, GUESS, love, makeup, Men, mentalhealth, model, modeling, photography, PTSD, responsibility, scars, sex, sexlife, Yyc | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

When I Think about You

When I think about you, I feel empty. Like I’m grasping for a feeling that should be there that isn’t. Occasionally I get the urge to call you, but remind myself, “what good will it do? What has he done … Continue reading

Posted in beauty, betrayal, blog, boyfriend, brunette, calgary, canada, girlfriend, girlproblems, identity, love, model, photography, scars | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Broken

There comes a time at the end of every arduous battle, that one must say “enough is enough” and call it quits. I reached that point last night. Some of you may remember my boyfriend cheated on me, for the … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, beauty, betrayal, blog, boyfriend, calgary, canada, confidence, depression, derranged, devastation, girlfriend, girlproblems, glamour, goodbye, honour, hope, identity, individuality, insecurity, inspiration, love, mentalhealth, model, nervous, overwhelmed, pain, photography, PTSD, rant, responsibility, scars, writer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Depression

I stand in the shower, naked and numb. Not just from some unearthly cold, but also inside my soul. One by one my feelings of trust in humanity deplete. And I’m left shivering under the boiling waters embrace as it … Continue reading

Posted in addiction, anxiety, beauty, blog, calgary, canada, confidence, crazy, depression, derranged, disturbing, girlproblems, glamour, god, hope, identity, insecurity, inspiration, masochistic personality disorder, mentalhealth, model, modeling, nerd, nervous, nightmares, overwhelmed, pain, photography, psychotic, PTSD, scars, spirituality, truth, writer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Nightmares

Since acquiring PTSD almost 5years ago, I am plagued by nightmares every night. Even when I jolt out of bed from one, I fall back asleep, and and right back in the same scenario, same dream. It’s like even reality … Continue reading

Posted in angel, anxiety, beauty, blog, brunette, calgary, canada, control, dad, daddy, death, depression, derranged, devastation, devil, disaster, family, father, fight, god, goodbye, love, makeup, model, modeling, mother, nightmares, pain, photography, PTSD, scars, spirituality, truth, universe, writer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ghosts of Christmas Past

I remember more than ever, today, when Christmas was a different way. 2001 was the last clarke Christmas I remember us all together. And it will never be the same. This year our family took a huge hit… We lost … Continue reading

Posted in angel, banshee, canada, child, childhood, children, christmas, depression, devastation, family, goodbye, hope, love, mentalhealth, overwhelmed, PTSD, scars | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment